How? How Did I Get Here?

"I showed up every day. It was never on a whim; it was a repeated drive to build something that turned into a space I thought about endlessly." ~ AJ Riall

I really hope that these blogs don't come across as tutorials, because they are not meant to. I sat down today trying to think about what to blog about because the purpose of this blog is to document my journey. 

If I find like-minded people or others on a similar journey, then that is a bonus. A year and a half ago, I certainly wasn't here. I was still focusing on a children's book, which is now in the process of being formatted. I was working with an illustrator, and I'm happy to say that part has wrapped up. As side quests do, other circumstances landed on my to-do list and demanded my attention. 

It wasn't until this summer that I heard the words, “We have less time ahead than what we have behind us.” I also got slammed with the realization of how grief can destroy someone and prevent them from living. To say it tore me apart to know that someone I loved was in such pain that they could not find light in the dark does not adequately describe the emotion. It was earth-rattling for me. 

I looked at the dream of writing... I had carried that desire for years, and I was tired of the fear of taking steps toward it. Writing has and continues to bring me joy, comfort, and clarity. Why? Why was I shutting it out? 

At that moment, I don't think I was thinking about a blog. (I definitely wasn't.) I certainly wasn't thinking about publishing. I was grieving, and writing turned into an escape. But with all escapes, there are always reminders of what you are trying to escape from: past pain, anger, grief, and loss. I can say, at least for myself, that while I write, there is a part of me that tends to work through all that stuff and come out laughing... along with crying and overall feeling better each time a story arc reaches its conclusion. 

When I started writing this manuscript, it was an experiment. As mentioned before, I wanted to write something that made me feel better. But I didn't know how to begin. I had no outline, but I did do a little research. What was popular? 

Romance! 

I can tell you that I love all kinds of stories: suspense, historical fiction, fantasy, action, sci-fi, crime, and just about everything else. Yes, that includes love stories, which live within many of those genres. Rather than be intimidated, I decided to start, though I didn't feel ready. 

The desire to write something funny and the challenge of writing something that I hadn't ever fully attacked sounded like a much-needed escape. I went ahead and thought, “BUT how will I do that?” 

So I started picking and choosing what I thought would work and creating a loose outline because, let's face it... I AM a pantser! That works for me, and then, day by day, it just happened. As I wrote each chapter, the next one would start to formulate before I got there. 

I showed up every day. It was never on a whim; it was a repeated drive to build something that turned into a space I thought about endlessly. It started with two characters, then six. Soon, a community formed, and humor that enveloped a small town began to help me release some of the anger sitting deep within my chest. 

I felt as if the characters were leading me out of grief, and they led the way to the end. Which is not the end! I have more to go, but one story has promised another, and I trust that it's worth investing more of my time in continuing to build this world of lovable characters. 

Learning how to make these folks come alive, how best to describe them, and how to create the environment they're in has become pretty fun. So... learning more about writing, gathering tips from other authors, and reading or listening to stories have also helped me get to where I am right now. I know that there is a drive that was gifted to me, beyond my own, coming from above. Thank you, Jeff!